For everyone else, don't bother reading this. It's not for you.
So I've been going over my story, rereading bits, looking at my characters and my plot line. I see a lot of holes...
I'm going to give you a list of things that I would like to improve. If you have anything to add, please do so. If you want to give me ideas or just comments in general I need them.
Things I would like to Fix
- Lloyd of Gareth... Why is he even in the story?
- Jessaw and the blond boys. Very weak and not very pertinent to the story.
- Make it clear that the many people thought that the prince was going to be the child of prophecy because it says “clothed in royalty” but that doesn’t necessarily mean the two are related. The child could technically be anyone.
- Spy? rewrite story with a specific spy in mind. Perhaps create a new character.
- Fix that plot hole: the one that has to do with the switch up of babies. Go over every detail very very carefully. Make a timeline and make sure everything fits. Make sure the mother’s actions make sense, who is the grandmother? what happened? WHY IS THIS GOING ON? It feels wishy washy.
- Seer, integrate that into the story better. When does she have visions and why? What do the visions mean?
- Religion? Gods? who gives her visions? do you want to get into that?
- Change prophecy to include both of them?...
- Ergil, Kadric and helpers and their places in her system.
- What is her system? Map it out. How does she keep track of everything?
- Spy hunt: more specific, think of tricky ways to trap them
- Fall out with Glen... too much? Too quickly?
- First battle emphasise her difficulty with handling the situation, no one can take that very easily.
- Tactics and Strategy... Yeah... research that a bit.
- THEMES: what do you want to tell your readers? What do you want them to learn from Riva’s adventure?
- Bad guys and other characters, do they make sense? Do their actions fit their personalities?
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