Princess Rivalee (Sec 2 Part 5)

Riva pulled her veil down over her eyes and well as over her mouth. The wind was now whipping around with unnerving force. Never had she experienced anything like it. She choked on sand that slipped through the thin fabric. Everything about the desert was a new experience. Peeking out between the folds of fabric she glared at her captor, Imad.

Her cheek still stung from the blow he had dealt. While she could see the logic in his actions she couldn’t understand the reason and the emotion behind them.

Usually when she was around a person she could gauge what they were feeling from their facial expressions. The tiniest flinches and twitches could tell you if a person was angry when they were acting pleased, but Imad was a blur of expressions.

When the King had summoned him, she had seen anger, fear, pleasure, indifference and loftiness all within the frame of a second. All throughout their conversation there had been flashes of emotion underlying what Imad said.

He had been angry with her when he had slapped her, truly furious. She could see it in his eyes and then he was gentle with her, sincerely kind and loving. It was like he didn’t know what to feel, or he had too many and so he kept switching at a blindingly fast pace.

Whatever was going on, Riva would have to stay on her toes.

At least the King had been easy enough to read. Riva sighed inwardly, he was a spoiled child who was indulged to a dangerous point. Riva smiled fondly, remembering the look of distress and blood-boiling anger that had appeared on the King’s face after Imad had struck her.

Having a spoilt child for an ally was better than having none.

What concerned her was the gathering they kept referring to, why were they waiting for a message from the Umed tribe?

They entered a new tent and the sharp sting of the wind blown sand abated. Imad turned to her, sharply he pointed to a rug in the corner. “You will sit there, quietly. I have guests coming and we mustn’t be disturbed. Now, when the storm dies down I want to you go and fetch some water from the well. Bring it back to me, do you understand?”

Riva nodded meekly, ever since he had struck her she had very, very carefully observed his smallest expressions and movements. Right now he seemed... nervous and anxious, although there was excitement and elation there as well.

“Good, go sit.”

She did so and settled down comfortably. Imad moved about preparing for his guests. Riva was glad he didn’t ask her to help, she wouldn’t’ve known what to do or even where to begin. This was a completely different society and while she knew their language, no one cared what the nomads of the desert had to say. They never came to Alsteare and Alsteare rarely went to them. Trade that went through the desert was the only connection the two worlds had.

While he worked, Riva watched, memorizing his mannerisms. The way he brushed his hands free of the sand, or rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. The crisp way he snapped rugs and plumped pillows. For some reason she imagined the King demanding a pet tiger and he had gotten one. Imad felt like a tiger on a leash, just waiting to set free, biding it’s time, pacing.

It made her very nervous.

Eventually she was able to relax, Imad ignored her for the most part anyway, and tried to think of a way to get out of here.

If she could gather provisions and find a horse, she could head east. She’d eventually hit the Goregenus River and she could follow that to Sealidan. Her mind wandered to Ettore, her faithful gelding. Had he survived?

Imad burst into the room without warning and Riva jumped. He brushed by without noticing.

Somehow, Riva didn’t think she’d be getting much sleep.

Princess Rivalee (Sec 2 Part 4)

So... I feel SOOO cool right now.

Melanie mentioned me in her most recent post and my pride is pretty puffed up right now. So just for her, I've found the will to keep writing. Here is the next section, I'm still working on details, but up to here I like it so far. So I'm gonna post it.

It just makes me happy that there's someone out there reading it.

Racham stared at the patterns in the tent walls, trying and failing to drown out the droning of the Tribesmen around him. Each was trying to outdo the others by promising more camels or horses for the great army. Their voices were beginning to grate at his nerves.

After another hour of bickering and arguing between the Tribe Heads, Racham could take it no longer. “OUT! All of you out! If you can’t talk to each other civilly then you have no right to keep your heads!”

Needless to say the royal tent was empty within seconds.

Racham threw his head back on the soft cushions and groaned loudly. “Imad! IMAD! Where are you?” When there was no answer, Racham pointed at the guard closest to him. “Bring Imad to me now!”

The guard bowed deeply and strode out the tent entrance purposefully.

The King shifted among his cushions until he was comfortable and sighed contentedly. There was nothing so wonderful as relaxing in his cool tent against the sand and wind. It was beginning to pick up outside and he loved the sound of it hitting the thick walls.

Imade opened the tent flap followed closely by the guard and a young woman. The guard resumed his post. Imad bowed deeply to the King, “You called, your Majesty?”

But Racham was looking at the girl. She was fair, much fairer than he was used to seeing among his kinsman. Her skin was splotchy and red from the sun, she blinked frequently, irritated by the glare of the sun and sand. Her hair was a reddish brown, poking out of the veil she wore. He noticed that the topmost layer had been bleached slightly from exposure to the sun. Her eyes were a dark green, that seemed to change in the light to a blue-grey.

The girl was staring back with equal curiosity. Her eyes roved around the room and the King, taking in everything with a quiet stillness. She seemed tense.

Imad watched the two, and his frown deepened.

Racham dragged his eyes back to Imad. “Does she speak the Words of the Desert?”

“No, your Majesty, only Alstearian. I’m afraid it will be very difficult for her while she is here.” Imad glanced back at the girl with contempt and pity all in one.

The girl spoke quietly to Imad. “Is that the King? What is he saying?”

Imad whirled on her and struck her across the cheek. “DO NOT SPEAK IN FRONT HIS MAJESTY!” She fell to the floor a hand to her cheek, the veil and come off and Racham could see the pain, surprise and betrayal in her eyes and set of her mouth.

She was beautiful.

Racham blinked and looked down. He was standing and breathing heavily. How did this happen? Quickly he sat and positioned himself comfortably on his side.

Imad lowered his voice and helped her fix her veil. “You must NEVER speak in front of a man besides myself. Only speak when spoken to, you are a slave and do not have the right to speak. Do you understand? According to the Law of the Desert you could be executed for the crime you just committed, hopefully the King will see this punishment as enough.”

Racham bristled at the thought of executing the girl for something so trivial. I would never do something so childish. He thought obstinately, but in the back of his mind he reviewed several accounts when he had executed men and women for childish reasons.

The girl was holding back tears of pain and shock. She nodded at what Imad had said and kept her eyes down, fear and terror were barely hidden behind them. It made his heart ache. He wanted her to feel at home, to love the desert as he did.

Racham cleared his throat and tried to sound kingly, speaking in his native tongue. “What is it Imad?”

Imad blinked twice in confusion. “Sire, I thought you had summoned me?”

“Ah, so I did. I wanted to know how the... the uh... the Umed tribe is coming. Weren’t we supposed to receive an answer by today?”

Imad bowed in apology. “Yes, your Majesty, but the wind has picked up. I feel a storm coming, it is unlikely that any messenger will try to travel through it.”

Racham’s eyes flashed in annoyance. “Couldn’t you just get rid of the storm, Imad? I thought you were a Shaman?”

“Yes, Majesty, but it is tiring to control the weather and it can have catastrophic results. Surely you remember the drought we had only a decade ago?” Imad reminded gently.

Racham huffed in impatience. “I just wish we could be done with all of this. I’m sick of having the Tribemen talk off my ears with their arguing and complaints of each other.” His eyes found the girl’s. She had been staring with an expression he couldn’t read.

“What do you plan on doing with her, Imad?”

Imad turned to look at the girl, who guiltily dropped her eyes. “As I am one of the few who can actually speak to her, I was thinking of making her one of my personal slaves. What think you, Majesty?”

Jealousy seared through Racham’s chest, but he held his peace. Of all people. he didn’t want Imad knowing how much he wanted the girl. of how intrigued he was. Imad would never say out loud, but his eyes would do all the talking. He would think less of Racham, think that he was weak for liking a Alstearian wench.

Possessiveness within him fought to claim the girl. One word and she would be his personal slave. Racham’s gaze met Imad’s and for a few moments he mentally ran through what would occur if he followed his desires.

Finally he waved a hand dismissively, “Fine, she is yours. It is only logical. Inform me when the Umed Tribe messenger arrives. I will be here.” He informed Imad, as if he was a busy man with many other places to visit.

“As you command, your Majesty.” With a final bow Imad guided the girl out of the tent and went back to his work.

Feelings and Wall Narative

So... I'm in a weird mood. I've been trying to figure out what happens next and it's super frustrating. And I keep thinking why does this work out? Why does it turn out so happily? Life isn't like that.

Plus I was talking to a friend of mine and I was trying to describe this feeling that I had. But first I'm going to have you read this SUPER short story and see what you think and then I'll add my commentary. (If you don't want my commentary just stop at the end of the story) It's kind of deep and has a lot to do with me. So please don't feel obligated to read it. I just need to vent.

Wall Poem (yes, that's my title as of now)

I put out my hand and my fingers stroked against the rough, lichen covered stones of a massive wall. It looked worn and sturdy. How long had it been there? How long had I been unaware of it’s presence? The voice behind me murmured.

“You put it there, years ago.”

“Me?” I asked skeptically. One stone was a two feet tall and a foot wide, I don’t think I could’ve moved it, much less lifted it seven feet up. I turned but whoever had been standing behind me had vanished.

Turning back to the wall, I wondered if what the voice had said was true. If I had build the wall, why? Why did I feel the need to place a wall between me and the world? What was out there? Did I build the wall for protection? Was it dangerous?

Fear made the hair on my arms prickle in discomfort. Questions whirled around in my head. Part of me wanted to scale the wall and another wanted security in what I knew. Everything I knew was here, why should I leave it?

Slowly, hesitantly, I turned my back on the wall and promptly forgot about it.

Well?

Now I'm going to tell you what prompted it. So recently I've been doing a lot of thinking about who I am, what makes me do the things that I do, why I am the way that I am... You know just soul searching, trying to figure out what I want vs who I am at the moment.
I've discovered that (especially in this judgmental society we live in) People put up fronts to throw people off of who they are. We are all terrified of others finding out who we really are. I absolute HATE it. There are a few people in my life whom I feel are true and honest and completely at peace with who they are and I respect that. I may not like the person they are, but I respect the courage they have in showing who they are.
I feel like I put up this wall between me and people in general. I mean ALL people, including family and friends. Most of my life I didn't even realize I was putting it there. It just happened and I've only recently discovered that it's there.

This wall that I've built does two things, protects me from drama and the emotions of others and two, hides me. It protects my deepest darkest secrets and distorts my true self. Thing is I don't like my true self. I don't like who I am and the things I do. I'm not happy with who I am and so when I put up this wall, I not only fool everyone around me but lie to myself. That's just stupid and it's wrong.

For the longest time I've just ignored it and gone along with it.

I want to be the kind of person who can say exactly what she thinks and say exactly what she did without feeling embarrassed or feeling like she needs to edit. When someone sincerely wants to know something about me I want to be secure enough with myself to be open about it. I want to be honest with myself and others. Can you imagine it? Just being able to be so free and open? It sounds so liberating to me.

My friend argued that there are people who would judge and think things that were unfair. For example, lets say that I had gone to the opera and I was very excited and being very vocal, of course they would look at me and think, "What the?" with perhaps some disgust. But... I don't see what's so wrong about that... I mean, if they don't give me a chance and never really get to know me, then why should I feel obligated to be their friends and why should I have to reform who I am?

There are of course more serious examples, let's say that I cheated on a quiz and came forward about it. Forever there will be people who will look at me and think, "Oh, that's the girl who cheated." But I was honest and fixed the problem and struggle from that point on to never cheat again, so why should it be a problem?

Her argument was, why do they need to know?

My rebuttal was they may not need to know. But if they ask, I want be able to 100 percent honest. I never want to have to edit or lie. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of half truths and talking around things. Why can't we just come out and say things? Why can't I just bash down this stupid wall?

Princess Rivalee (Second Section)

For the next weeks a new urgency was instilled in Riva. Glen. She had to get to Glen.

Now that the Kingdom was back in the clear financially and she had Kadric, Ergil and Jessaw to keep things in check, she felt secure about leaving. The spies were being hunted down and destroyed one by one and the army outside the walls was slowly waning.

Raids were attempted in rapid succession under the Commander experience hand. With the enemy’s cavalry gone the only threat were the polearms and they could easily be flanked or surprised. Alsteare found good use in horse archers. They were mobile, fast and deadly if used against a slower force.

Riva never set foot out into the battle front again.

Dreams haunted her and the feel of her power engulfing a life in flame or slicing through muscle, sinew and bone was not one she wished to experience again. There were times when she was convinced that she was being punished for taking their lives by being forced to live through their deaths over and over as night came.

Ergil found her one night in her study. He had a report in his hand. When she looked up at his footsteps he waved the sheets as an explanation. “‘Nother spy, found and disabled.”

They sat in silence.

“You haven’t been sleeping well.”

Riva shook her head. She didn’t want to sleep anymore.

“Why?”

Their eyes met. He knew why, but he wanted to hear her say it. And Riva respected him too much not to answer, “Dreams of the ones I’ve killed.” She said simply, no more explanation was needed.

“They would’ve killed you in a second. They came to kill you and your people. What else were you to do?”

Riva put down the material she had been reading in frustration. “You don’t think I tell myself that every time I see their faces? They were still living beings, people with families, desires, plans for the future, and I took all of that away from them.”

“What about your people? What about their hopes and dreams? What about their homes? This is their land and the Sealidans had no right to be here. Doesn’t that have meaning?” Whenever Ergil spoke it was softly, logically and always in questions. Trying to make her think and turn her thoughts in a new direction, to make her ask herself the things she had been avoiding.

Riva had no answer to his questions.

“Perhaps, Your Majesty, you should consider that every life you took saved hundreds of innocent ones. Life is something to be treasured, but we should never feel the need to remorse for protecting our lives, freedom and families.”

He stood and placed the report on her desk.

“They aren’t men you should lose sleep over. Their lives were forfeit when they entered the carnage called war.” His eyes rose to meet hers. “As is yours.”

Without another word or explanation he left.

Riva put her head in her hand and sighed. “Your wisdom is too far beyond my years, old man. What good is advice if I don’t know what it means?”

*****

“I’m leaving tomorrow night.” She informed the Council. “I’m leaving the conducting of our meetings in Kadric’s hands.”

There were some who stood in anger, whether at her abandonment or Kadric’s command she wasn’t sure. Most sat in silence, probably plotting how to take control while I’m away. Riva shook her head. No, that wasn’t fair. They had supported her when she’d needed it. There were good men on the Council, men she’d come to trust and others to respect.

Wearily she motioned for silence. “I’m leaving for selfish reasons, I have no excuse and don’t wish to leave one. I only know that I will forever regret my decision if events should go badly.” She paused and looked each man in the eye. “You do not need me. You never have. I know that you all have the capability to rule Alsteare with justice and wisdom. I know that you can keep our people alive and safe. I only ask that you remember before you seek to place yourselves in a better position, the people of Aslteare. I ask that every action passed will be done for the benefit and good of realm. We will not survive the coming battle if we are divided. Unite under Alsteare’s banner and save her people.”

Silence had filled the room.

“Until I return, I leave Alsteare, my beloved home, in your hands.”

She bowed to the Council, renouncing her title and ruler and placing her trust in them.

Lloyd of Gareth spoke. “Why are you leaving us, Princess? What could possibly be more important that the kingdom you claim to love so much?”

A sharp pain shot through her chest. Is that what you think of me? But it was a fair question, she was abandoning her duty to save the man she believed she loved. She was leaving thousands for the sake of one man.

“Glen, I’m leaving to save Glen. The man that I love.”

A smirk slipped on and off the face of Gareth and murmurs of disapproval swept through the Council. Betrayal. That’s what this was to them.

Riva could feel their eyes weighing down on her, loading her with anger, contempt and disgust. The pain in her chest widened into a throbbing ache.

“This is why a woman should never lead.”

“For a man?”

“How could she?”

Riva let the insults and words wash over her, determined not to cry. She was beyond it, her decision was final. She wasn’t going to back down, it didn’t matter what they thought of her. Resolutely she forced her head higher. A princess acted honorably and didn’t run off without an explanation to anyone. She would be honest and frank with these people. They deserved that.

So why did it hurt so much?

*****

Riva stopped, panting hot and sweaty. The leather reins were sweaty where her hands had been and she wiped them on her clothes, although it didn’t help much. Ettore huffed behind her and snuffled at her hair. Brushing the gelding aside, she murmured, “None of that.” and wiped her brow surprised that there was any water left inside her. All around her was a vast expanse of heat and sand. It never ended.

According to her map she should have been out of the desert three days ago, fortunately she had brought enough food and water for a few more days. That was all, a few more days, there was nothing now and most of her supplies had been for the horse. How was she supposed to get out of here if her horse died?

From reading she knew that she should keep herself covered as much as possible despite the heat, so she had lasted longer than anyone who didn’t know how to handle the desert. Sighing she pulled out her map and looked at it again. Apparently I don’t know enough about navigating, she thought grimly. The sun was high in the sky and impossible to get a direction from, but from last night she’d made sure she was headed north, so what was wrong?

Shoving the map back in its place, she continued on, unsure of what else to do.

*****

Her feet hurt, her lips hurt, her hands hurt, everything hurt, everything was hot. Hurting was good, it meant she was alive. Just keep telling yourself that. She paused and stared out, shaking her head wearily she thought, Why am I doing this? Why can’t I get out of this stupid desert! In anger and frustration she screamed but nothing came out of her dry throat, she blinked several times and swallowed. Then she cackled suddenly realizing that she had been trying to cry but hadn’t been successful from lack of water.

No matter, one foot in front of the other. She started counting her steps, finding nothing better to do.

Long after she had given up counting, her legs gave out. The sand was felt like a hot iron but she didn’t have the strength to stand. Ettore stood over and munched at her clothes. When she didn’t react, he pushed at her with his nose.

Still no reaction.

Becoming increasingly concerned he gently bit her shirt and physically pulled her forward. Riva flailed slightly not exactly enjoying the feeling of scratchy sand up against her skin. Grabbing the reins she pulled herself up and tried to smack the horse. He, in turn, jerked back and trotted away gleefully.

She slumped back onto the ground. “Big tease,” she reached for him and obediently he came. Ginning she stroked his nose. “but you’re one heck of a horse.” He shook his head in agreement. They had become close in the weeks of travel.

Riva had decided that the safest way to reach the capital of Sealidan was to go through the desert that covered a great expanse of the north. She’d also discovered that a large army had come the same way. The border between Alsteare and the desert wasn’t well guarded because the only thing in the desert were the nomads. They had snuck in right up to the capital from the north.

Great minds think a like. She thought wearily. Spots started to appear on her vision and she clung to the reins desperately.

I’m going to die here. The thought was calm and absolute. I’m going to die… I’m sorry, Glen. She looked up at Ettore and sighed. “I don’t see how it’s fair that you have to die with me.” Ettore folded his legs under him and sat against her. Riva knew he was trying to show his loyalty but she couldn’t stop wrinkling her nose. His coat was covered in sweat. “Stupid horse.” She told him and he pointedly ignored the comment. I can’t let him die. She thought with sudden certainty and with that she raised her hand and pushed her life force into the animal. Trying to keep the flow of energy steady, Riva used her other hand to steady herself as she began to sway. Just a little more!

With a great heave she forced any energy left out to her palm. Please, live, she thought as the darkness overcame her.

*****

The shaman knelt before King Racham, “Your Majesty, we have picked up an Alstearian, according to our custom.” His voice didn’t betray his uneasiness but the King already understood it.

Racham waved his hand and ordered all servants and guards alike out. They bowed themselves out and the shaman stood and relaxed. Imad bowed slightly, “Thank you, your Majesty.”

“Why so formal, Imad?” Racham asked tiredly. “And why are you worried about some Alstearian?”

Imad grinned, obviously pleased with his connection to the King. “As you know, sire, we are going to declare war on Alsteare as soon as we are able to get the Umed tribe to cooperate. I am simply considering what to do with the girl.” His eyes gleamed.

Racham shrugged, “Make her a slave, her life is mine according to the Law of the Desert, so I may do what I choose with her.” He played with some stray silk on his coat. “I don’t care what you do. Is she awake yet?”

“Not as of yet, your Majesty.” Imad answered. “I am giving her attention as needed.” King Racham nodded and waved him away. Imad departed to see to the girl.

When he reached the tent she was trying to sit up.

“Don’t move!” Imad yelled in Alstearian and rushed to her, pressing her back onto the thick rug. “You are not completely healed yet.”

“What’s going on? Who are you?” She inquired quietly, her throat causing everything to come out scratchy and raspy.

Imad allowed his energy to enter her, giving it the strength to heal. At the moment it was all she needed, her body was exhausted. All she needed was rest, food and drink. “You are in the tent of King Racham of the Nurvia Desert. I am Imad, Head Shaman of the King.”

Christmas Gifts, White Christmas and Creepy Crawlies

Everyone, I LOVE Christmas.

What can beat the time when everyone is looking around trying to find the perfect gift for their friends and family? Yes, it's a little stressful.
But I got to see my sister Leslie for the first time in... okay, really it's only been a few months, but we've gotten really close and I forget how much I miss her advice. She has really good advice. It's specifically tailored for my brain. Coolest thing ever.

Well, I have to brag about what I got. A Kindle Touch. That's right, my parents know me REALLY well. The first thing I did? Download almost 70 free books. Right now I'm reading the Scarlet Pimpernel AH! Man, that guy has a vocabulary! The best part is to look up a word all I have to do is touch it. I now know that inane means silly or stupid, enigmatic means difficult to interpret, or mysterious, consummate means perfect or complete (at least for the meaning I was looking up) It's the coolest thing ever.

I can also borrow books from libraries, send my or other documents to my kindle, put music on it, have it read to me, HAHA!!! I feel like I control the world.

I also got some soft slippers, a Kelly Clarkson CD (score!) and a metronome. Yes, a metronome, I'm taking voice lessons and I'm weird like that.

My little sister got an Ipod touch, now she can text people (me) and listen to awesome music. I'm really excited for her. I got her some scrapbooking supplies and a CD she's been dying for (it's still coming in the mail)

My younger brothers got a gun. A 22-rifle and I'm a little concerned for their safety and terribly excited to go and try it out. I got them ties, they look awesome. They got a game called Thunderstone, I'm pretty sure we're playing wrong. So I'm gonna read the rules sometime, I can't STAND it when you are playing a game and are unsure about how things are supposed to be done. What if you play it with another group and they go and buy it and discover that everything you've told them was a LIE. Yup, there goes all your street cred. (Not a good analogy, but I don't really care.)

I'm pretty bummed about there being no snow. I was dreaming of a White Christmas and am thoroughly disappointed.

Quick story, So a few nights ago, I was up writing and watching movies and anything else that could capture my attention. It was around 6 in the morning and my little brother Sam was up and he started playing on the other computer we have. The lights were on, that makes a difference. When... I feel something crawl over my arm, I look down. Spider.
I jump up, throw my blanket off (no shrieking. I'm not a shrieker. Is that a word?) and start shuddering, vocally and literally. Then I tell Sam to go and kill it. He'd jumped up cause I suddenly went all crazy. But he didn't kill it and just let it hide under the desk.

Next night, I'm doing the same thing. 'Cept it's like four in the morning and the lights are off and I'm by myself. The Spider drops down from the ceiling and yes, it was the same spider, would've recognized that thing anywhere, and lands right between my arms (I was typing.) Basically right in front of my face. (Again! I did not shriek. When I get scared I tend to seize up and clamp my mouth shut. My hands go into fists and I'm ready to hit something. Anyway...) I backed off with all haste and tried to hurry the thing away from me. Squishing spiders is something I only do when the offender is in my room or the bathroom. If it's in one of those two rooms it has crossed into my domain and has now lost it's privileged to live any longer. Other than that, I prefer to leave them be. I hate the feeling of spider guts between thin sheets of toilet paper.
The stupid spider ran the wrong direction, (well it did run away from me) straight onto the keyboard. Not kidding it hunkered down into the spaces between the keys and was perfectly happy to just chill there, daring me to try and continue my writing.
I tapped at keys near it and blew at it which could at times be counterproductive, but eventually it ran away and I just kept my feet up off the floor and arms well away from the scene of it's disappearance.

But I'm sure my nemesis will return. Lud, I hate spiders.

As for Riva, sit tight, I'm still forming the outline in my brain. Until next time.

Princess Rivalee (Part the next)

So... It's like 5:38 in the morning and I didn't really go to bed... I just didn't want to sleep.

So far my break has been awesome. Last night I played my dad and my little brothers in a couple of games. We played Nertz and Acquire. Both excellent games and very different. (I'm going to go into detail you can skip this if you aren't interested.)

So in Nertz you have a deck of cards and it's kind of like skipo were you are trying to get rid of your pile. I'm gonna brag here, my dad and my little brothers are all at 13 in their pile and I did 18. NEVER play my older sister, she's even better than me. I'm telling you... just avoid playing games with my family, we are WAY too competitive. Anyway I'd reached 99! 99 points and we were going to a hundred!!! But then I had a horrible hand and got a negative 34 against me. Bleh... My dad won. I was a little miffed. But I usually win so I let it go. Acquire is more of a business game. I got third. I was actually quite pleased, I hate playing that game because I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. My dad won that one too.

I got some awesome presents for my family, I'm really frustrated though, because I want to get them things that they will love and adore. But I'm a poor college student and I can't really afford it. PLUS if you've got a family like mine? That's... 8 siblings plus wives, and children. Then mom and dad. It kind of takes a toll if you are trying to get them good presents. So I did what I could but I'm still really annoyed. I spent more than I should, but I don't feel bad because It's my family and I love them.

I think that Christmas should happen for often. Everyone is in this giving mood. Let's give and give and give!!!! I love it! I'm always asking people what they want and am thinking on other people. It's the coolest thing ever. It really makes you forget about all your own problems. Just a mini testimony for you.

Okay folks enough of that. So... I was talking to my little brother about my story and he said my heroine was too strong... too good at everything. So there might be a little rewriting. I am also going to warn you... I was kind of in a very serious mood this morning. I wrote some pretty depressing stuff. But... I really want to emphasize how much I hate war and how scary dreams can be. I mean you know when you wake up from a dream and you are shaking and just plain terrified, even though it was about a teeny tiny spider that bit you? Dreams are scary, your imagination can eat you alive. Funny isn't it? How you can have so much potential, how you can hope and dream for so much and yet your own imagination can shut you down? Stupid brains...

Princess Rivaless (All that I've written up to this point)


Riva mounted and let a breath out slowly. Silently she sent a prayer up to the gods for safety and success. The sun had been down for hours and there was no moon that night. Around her hooves shuffled around, snorting. Their hooves had been covered with burlap to muffle the hard clack of steel. Kadric reined his mare in nervously. He was red in the face and very focuses on staying on the horse. Riva hoped he could keep up with the rest of them. In contrast the Commander controlled his steed with one hand and an ease of many years in the saddle.

“Princess, we are ready.”

“Good, ready the gates.” She felt silly giving the Commander orders, but he had said ‘her plans, her orders.’

The heavy doors creaked loudly open. Against the silence of night, it was like a thunder storm overhead. Riva grimaced and noticed that most of the men looked nervous and anxious about the noise.

The Commander looked to her again, awaiting her word.

“Move out!” She signalled with her hand. From this point on, there wouldn’t be a word spoken. The men would have to follow the horse in front of them and it would be too dark outside the walls to see hand signals.

As one the men moved in silence. They split into three groups of a hundred each and charged the camps, with Riva, the Commander and the Captain leading them. Kadric took a smaller force to destroy the dam. He was to wait until the alarm had been raised and everyone had their focus on the main camps.

Earlier that night, Riva had sent the best to take out all the sentries. Without their warning, they could get close enough to the camps to do serious damage. Hopefully the three pronged attack would confuse the enemy and split their forces. Maybe they’ll just lie down and let us trot over their bodies while they’re at it. Riva thought ruefully.

As they approached the camp the torch and fire light seemed to get brighter. Riva drew her short sword and clamped her mouth shut, keeping a battle cry tucked safely behind clenched teeth. In silence the tore through tents, flesh and picketed horses. If any of the horses broke free the men who had already made a sweep through the camp were to herd them back into the city if they could. These men knew the terrain while the enemy didn’t. It would be harder for them to follow in the dark.

Riva snatched a torch and lit anything she could reach. Tents around her exploded in flame and heat. Slowly the alarm spread through the camp and Riva signaled her men to get out, yelling at them to hurry. Raising her torch up above her head she screamed and charged farther into the camp. The men around her were reaching their horses and weapons. While her men escaped she forced her way deeper into the camp, leaving a clear path of flaming tents and wagons behind her. Several times men would form a wall of spears that would bar her way. Using a fistful of air she would shove them apart, opening her way once again. Panic welled up inside of her. Eventually she would run out of the power and she would be surrounded by men who hated her and would treat her with no mercy. She had to reach the other side of the camp.

Hands grabbed her legs and her horse reared as sharp points pricked his sides. Silently she prayed for forgiveness for the death she was causing and hack at fingers and limbs. Screams echoed in her ears, her own, animal’s and men’s. Pain shot up through her scalp as she was dragged off her horse by the hair. She screamed and lashed out with her power, fear and pain putting more force than was needed. Two men within two feet her literally fell to pieces. Riva gasped and reined in her panic. She didn’t want to lose control. She didn’t want to kill more than she had to.

Shakily she got to her feet, images of the two men’s faces replaying in her head over and over. The taste of vomit was in her mouth as she mounted and continued her trek.

When the seemingly endless tents and hordes of men trickled away to a clear night sky, Riva shouted in a hoarse wordless relief still waving a newly found torch. Looking back she noticed she had accumulated quite the band of followers. Dear gods, please guide me. She kicked her horse into a faster gallop, yelling encouragement to him.

Behind her she could her harsh voices doing the same to their mounts.

Dread began to creep into her bones. Come on! Come on! Stupid horse, they told me you were the fastest horse in the entire city, now show me! She wouldn’t spoken out loud but fear had sucked all the water from her mouth and she couldn’t seem even whisper them quietly to herself against the rushing wind.

The ground dipped abruptly, her horse stumbled and struggled to right itself. Riva held on, tossing her torch to one side, and lifted a hand, feeling for the water that should be rushing to meet her. There you are. Thank the gods! Kadric did it.

She kicked her horse up out of the mucky river bottom, it’s hooves making loud sucking sounds at each tug against the mud. Riva pulled the water down toward her, urging it to hurry. Just as she was about to be overtaken by a swarm of men and horse flesh, water flooded back into its place and over the river bed. She had been saving her power for this.

Riva’s horse scampered away from the danger, not needing any guidance from its rider. Riva couldn’t guide it. She was too focused on mixing the water with the ground. Mud, become mud. She whispered to it. A sinkhole. A marsh. Become soft, take them. Take them all. The earth was taking all the water, slipping out of its solid form and into a more viscous state. The men that hadn’t been hit by the initial wave of water were sucked a good two feet into the ground. Their horses struggled vainly against the thick mud, the more they struggled the more earth they pulled up and the deeper the sink hole became. The men in panic, leapt off their horses only to find they couldn’t move either.

Riva panted, pulling more and more water to mix into the hard earth and stone. Her power wasn’t going to last much longer. She could already feel the effects of overuse. Her body desperately wanted to rest and her mind could barely focus on the task at hand. Her vision blurred slightly.

She gasped as a red hot stab of pain shot through her lower back. Her grasp on the water slipped and she struggled to get it back. More, she needed more. Oh gods, it hurts. Make it stop.

Behind her she heard a yell and turned to see two men on horseback. One with a bow readying to fire an arrow and the second bearing down on her with a sword raised to take her head off. She released her hold on the water and yanked her short sword of her scabbard getting up just in time. The force of his blow knocked her clear of her horse to the ground, her arm felt like it had tingled unpleasantly and her hand ached. When she hit the ground she gasped as a white flash of pain shot up her side and her vision blurred. Riva rolled on to her back and cried out, feeling another sharp jolt of pain as what must’ve been an arrow was shoved deeper into her back her vision was getting dangerously close to a deeper black. Weakly she tried to get her sword arm up in front of her, her arms felt like lead. Her body was too exhausted, she wasn’t going to be able to force off another attack.

“Princess!!”

She heard a thud and a wicker of a panicked horse.

Her overstimulated mind somehow drew the conclusion that the threat had been annihilated. Her arm fell heavily to her side and she took several shallow breaths. I’m alive. I’m okay. Her body relaxed and she closed her eyes in relief.

*****

Glen was being dragged away. At first the guards had tried to make him walk on his own, kicking him occasionally when he stumbled or fell. Eventually he fell and didn’t get back up, after several blows. Riva’s heart broke. She desperately wanted to go to him, to make the pain go away. The guards cursed, annoyed that they had to carry the prisoner. They picked him up between them and for the first time Riva got a good look at his face in the torchlight of the dungeons.

His hair was matted with blood, now it looked red more than the dark shade of brown. Thinner, bruises and cuts marred his face and body, dirt and sweat covered his ripped clothes and skin. He smelled of death.

The guards passed Riva. She tried to run after them, but her feet couldn’t grip the ground. It was like she was floating in the air, unable to push off the walls or use the air in anyway. Suspended in nothingness and completely helpless. Soundlessly she screamed.

Her dream changed, she was now surrounded by people, masses and masses of desperate and filthy people. Their feet were covered with strips of cloth and their thin shoulders had thin grey shawls. The ground was frozen, her feel could feel the chill emulate from it. It was winter and these people weren’t going to last long in the cold. In the distance she could hear women’s cries and men’s howls of laughter. She shuddered, only able to imagine the horrors that were happening. She glided between the huddles of grey knowing that she was witnessing the results of war. These were refugees fleeing the battle ground, without a place to live.

Women and children pulled the injured on carts. They would be dead by morning.

Tears stung in Riva’s eyes, she didn’t want to see more. Slowly she drifted farther into horror. She was in the army’s camp. The dream informed her that this was the nature of war, what she was about to see was what happened to men’s hearts. Closing her eyes didn’t shield her against the images she saw: drunken men, starving children, abused women. It was chaos, fear and despair. No one was human anymore. It was like they had died and become less than animals. To think that this war had been on and off for a century.

Riva mentally sank to the floor as one scarring and defiling image after another assaulted her. Why was she seeing this? Why was she being forced through this pain?

Again the dream changed. Now it was blisteringly hot. She gasped at the drastic change in temperature. Air, she needed air. Trying to loosen her collar she realized that her arms were buried in the sand, heavy, burning sand. From her neck down she was buried, unable to move. It was so hot. Sweat was dripping liberally from her face, stinging her eyes. Air!

Movement flashed in her peripheral and she glanced over. A scorpion examined her, it’s small pincers held up and forward toward her. It moved slowly toward her. She couldn’t breathe, in her bones she knew that if she was stung she was dead. She started to hyperventilate, her chest pressing against the sand walls uncomfortably. Hot sticky air, only made breathing more difficult. She watched the scorpion as it inched its way toward her. Just as it was a foot away, three more poked their pincers out of the sand. Suddenly scorpions were crawling out of the sand all around her, multiplying at an exponential rate.

Riva’s breathing became ragged and soft sobs escaped frequently. They would begin to crawl all over her soon. Whimpering without inhibition, Riva began to cry.

“Princess! Princess, please wake up!”

“Glen? Glen?” Riva gasped, sucking in cold crisp air. Every breath made her back ache and burn hotly. She gripped a hand tightly.

“No, Princess. It’s me, Jessaw.”

Riva’s eyes were adjusting to the darkness. She could see him now, his round face pulled down in concern. “Jessaw.” She relaxed and forced herself to slow her breathing. The events of the night catching up with her “Jessaw, I think I’m going to be sick.”

Jessaw jumped up looking around desperately for something. In the end he brought the heave porcelain wash bowl, Riva used every morning. He helped her sit up and patted her back as she threw up everything in her stomach. She tried to throw up three more times, but her stomach was empty. So she heaved and heaved with only little result. Jessaw stayed next to her, holding the bowl ready.

After about a half an hour and her breathing had slowed. He murmured quietly, “I have to go get Kadric and Ergil. They’ll want to see you. I’ll be right back.” Gently he stroked her forehead and left the room. The way that he treated her made Riva wonder if she’d been thrashing or screaming. Her throat did feel raw, but she had just thrown up and her throat stung uncomfortably.

Ergil reached her room first. His face looked as it always did, but Riva could see the slight pull of his lips. He was worried. He came to her side and smoothed her hair from her face. “Princess, you had us worried there for a while.”

Kadric stormed in with much for flare, gasping and puffing air. “Riva!” The relief in his voice was evident. Had she been about to die?

“Kadric, what happened?”

He smacked his forehead. “Of course, you don’t know. Our plan worked, the sink hole caught most of their horses and men.” He swallowed as if there was something bad in his mouth and he couldn’t spit it out. “Their cavalry was cut down to a third of what it was. The Commander has been picking off their infantry, I must say he is very good at his business.” He said this too, with a tang of bitterness. “The threat from the men outside has been annulled. Hopefully we can start up trade again and rebuild what we need to.”

Jessaw had entered the room solemn faced.

So much had happened. “How long have I been asleep?”

The three glanced at each other. Kadric’s face was the easiest to read. She calls that sleep?

Jessaw answered. “You was poisoned, Princess. The arrow they shot you with had poison on it. You’ve been asleep for nearly a week.”

Riva relaxed into the pillows with a small sigh, thinking about the days she had lost and the dreams she had had in their stead. Absently she whispered, “You were poisoned. Not was.”

“The Sealidans were sick of being harassed, so they took things into their own hands. We lost a lot of good soldiers to their arrows.” Kadric mourned.

Silence fell over the four of them.

Riva swallowed, trying to wet her dry mouth. “I need to think. Jessaw, would you stay? Kadric, Ergil I know you have other business, I won’t keep you away from it.”

They all nodded, Kadric looked about to object but he heard the dismissal. Ergil bent over and kissed her forehead. His eyes full of fire.

Jessaw settled into a soft chair near her bed and grasped her hand, squeezing it gently.

“Did I scream?” Riva whispered.

A haggard look passed over Jessaw’s face as he nodded.

Keeping her voice low Riva squeezed his hand back. “I’m sorry you had to hear that. You stayed whenever you could, didn’t you?”

She had never seen him this solemn and quiet. Again he just nodded, keeping his head down.

“What’s wrong, Jessaw? Why won’t you talk to me?”

After several moments he whispered. “I thought you were going to die. I thought you was gonna die, just like my mam.” He broke into tears and put his head down on her pillow, stifling his sobs.

Riva heaved her arm up and over, it was weirdly light and heavy at the same time. She couldn’t feel all of it at the same time, numbly she stroked his hair. She didn’t bother to correct his grammar, he tended to slip when he got emotional about something.

They stayed there for a while, comforting each other. Eventually Jessaw began to snore softly, his face finally relaxing into a peaceful expression.

As she watched his face she could feel exhaustion seeping into her numb and throbbing body. She was so tired. And too afraid to go back to sleep.