One of the said sisters happens to be working on a novel at the moment. I'd like to give you a snippet of her work. Do comment, I think it's marvelous but she wants real feedback and I feel like I'm too close to the piece.
Here, enjoy!
A person is born to be a prince. It is not by chance but rather, as the priest repeatedly told Charles, a position that was ordained for him by God. Every man was born to the life he was meant to have. The priest had told him since before he could speak that in lieu of this confidence he must never do anything to disappoint the expectations of God, his father the king, or his now deceased angel mother.
But today, a day that should have been a day where destiny an predestination should be taking a hand Charles wondered why things were wrong? The whole situation started with the wrong person who was in the wrong place and who was forcing the whole party and events of the day to go all wrong. Lord Avin was only a year older yet nearly a head and a half taller than the prince. He playfully grabbed Charles by the shoulder calling him by his nickname, "Cherub? What's wrong? You must be thinking something awfully hard. Look at your forehead-- all wrinkled." He laughed as he stuck his finger to the princes forehead and forcefully smoothed them away. Charles pushed his hand away immediately.
"Stop."
He just laughed as though Charles stop was merely said in jest and returned his finger to his forehead to continue, "Oh look you forehead went all wrinkly again."
"I said," stressing the I as in watch it buster I may be shorter younger and have curly blond hair and a baby face but I happen to carry the ability to issue a royal decree, "stop." His efforts were in vain as Avin didn't stopped but raised his voice and waved the others to join the fun.
Cherub had been a nickname his late mother had given him when he was a small baby due to his curly blond hair and rosy cheeks and it had stuck. His friends and father in the rare moments when his father wasn't being so stuffy called him fondly by that name. But it did not sound affectionate out of the young Lord Avin's mouth. Charles wouldn't have even brought Avin on the trip if it had been at all appropriate. When he had jokingly suggested to his fathers secretary he had received the usual stoned face (the man didn't know how to joke), "Can't I just go on the hunting with just Lady Yanet?"
"It is not wise to place your name with that of a young ladies. This is the list of people that have been invited on your excursion."
"Then is there any way you would consider not coming?"
"Adult supervision by those that have been invited as well as myself was a condition that you agreed to with the king."
"I suppose he's coming too."
"If your referring to your father then no if to Lord Avin then yes he has been invited."
His only hope had been that Avin wouldn't accept the invitation but it was a slim hope and was quickly dashed. And so for the last few days he had been playing seconds to him. Who knew that Lord Avin even excelled at the usually feminine hunting sport of falconing.
"Your doing it again, Cherub, that thinking thing, look at you poor forehead. I think it must be tired from concentrating so much and now your nose is joining in the fun. But It does make it look even more adorable.What do you think Lady Yanet what should we do with the angel of our court and his troubled forehead and adorable nose?" Lady Yanet was walking near the pavilion that had been set up in a meadow with another lady from court. She smiled at the cajoling Avin but didn't reply. She was two years older than Charles. Her father hadn't been an active part of court until his recent success at monopolizing the brocade trade that came from the south state of Ailati. The brocade had become popular no just in Alemania but in their neighbors and other far off countries. Lady Yanet had been presented during her father's rise to power and had it seemed over night even at a such a young age become a leader of fashion. Not to mention that it had only taken days for the prince to be completely smitten with her.
Lady Yanet's non-commital reply didn't slow Lord Avin's teasing in the slitest rather he continued in stride to see if he could eek out some comedic material from Lady Yanet's walking parter Lady Janice, "Lady Janice your known as," he paused searching for a polite way to say know it all," a thinker," he stepped it it up a notch in the flattery department, "a logician." She was horse faced Charles was sure not even she could deny it and tried to make up with in brains a general annoyance of all.
"Must we do something with him?"
"Are you suggesting we leave him in this horrific state?"
"Stop exaggerating." She said without the least bit of humor.
"How am I exag--," she didn't let him finish but having been raised primarily in her grandfathers presence she was used to being cut off when she spoke to her she wasn't being rude but merely holding others to the same standard. " So many people are angels these days Prince Charles, I distinctly heard you tell Lady Alicia, Maria and Hysent. Not to mention that not so long ago you described lady Yanet was like an angel that heaven allowed to grace the court? Am I in anyway exaggeration."
Lord Avin laughed without any signs of annoyance and raised his hand in surrender at being caught. "How could you be incorrect in describing Lady Yanet as an angel."
"That was you." as always a sticker for accuracy.
A few of the other young men who had joined the company to go hunting joined the small group, "Janice, stop being... well, you. How could you be annoyed with Avin for saying nice things?"
"And they're true." Lady Yanet modestly waved them to be quiet at such a pointedly flattering remark.
"Still," another added as he tossed the prince's hair, the prince was by far the shortest. It was more of a stretch down then up for the young lord next to him to muss his hair in an affectionate manner while adding, "Janice you have to cut Avin some slack. On top of being entirely correct by observing Lady Yanet's angelic nature he's not the only person to compare the prince to an angel."
He and Janice were the only one's not laughing and enjoying this conversation. And that was saying Janice rarely looked like she was enjoying any conversation. Janice was renounced sour puss who would literally play the devil advocate if possible the rest of the group was against it.
"Why?" she said loudly. She was also one of those people that never flowed with the rest of the group. When the world ignored a slightly antagonistic remark or tone she would take it head on to the embarrassment to the group. She was the thing that got stuck in the spoke of the bandwagon.
"What?" Nobody really likes to get jolted when falling the wake of the popular.
"Why should we allow people to exaggerate and lie just because they say nice things." And no one liked to be reminded they were following the crowd and doing wrong like lying. But mostly they were used to her always taking a situation where everyone was having fun and throwing cold water on it. No one would actually invite her to things if she hadn't been the granddaughter to an eccentric lord who nobody in their right mind would like to cross. Charles had never been laughing, but Lady Yanet's polite smile was fading and the other two young boys who had joined their groups laughter died.
Lord Avin's smile only grew brighter he turned to Prince Charles. "What do you think Charles? Am I exaggerating by calling lady Yanet an angel?"
And then the odd moment passed in the moment when Lady Yanet spoke light scolding tone and Lord Avin, "You shouldn't tease him." she pouted slightly.
"Your too right," Lord Avin said, "We should all remember little cherubs it talented to." somehow after this interchange between Lady Yanet and Lord Avin , Charles felt like a kid interrupting the conversation between adults.
"But enough talking. Wouldn't it be better if we all took an afternoon ride together. What does everyone think, wouldn't that be a pleasant way?"
Lady Yanet looked at him he could tell that she wanted to go, but the thing was she was slightly taller and Charles really wished he could be taller.
"It sounds like a good idea to me." one of the others said
"What do you think, Janice?" Yanet spoke to her pleading. Janice with her face stuck in a position of permanent disdain for life start listing of the with the reasons why it would not be a good idea.
Avin pulled Charles out of the group and to the side. "It won't be a problem will it? I sure everyone will enjoy it so much even if it is slightly different than what was originally planned. Should you go talk to the scouts about the change of plans.
The scout pulled him aside as the preparations were underway. "We will stick to the most open places this part of the woods. And well away from the main hunting party."
"There isn't any danger of crossing paths?"
The scout nodded no. He was older than the prince and they had grown up with each other and filled an almost older brother role. They had a comfortable relation due to their shared passion for hunting. He was comfortable enough to let out some of his exasperation.
"I had really wanted to go after the hart. How many years since the last sighting?"
"Since before your parents were married. And you knew it wouldn't be much of a hunting trip and didn't your father may the blow a little less by letting you bring the young woman of the court to go falconing."
"But wouldn't it be great if I could kill the white hart? Father couldn't last time."
"Well he did get a little distracted. But aren't you glad he was?" The scout looked at Lady Yanet and Lord Avin who were talking at that moment. Charles didn't miss the wordless commentary, "Your mother and father fell in love and were engaged after the last hunting excursion and accident."
"Who knows the white hart might lead to another royal wedding."
" Your parents they lived happily ever after but Charles," he paused, "Charles, your father didn't have a Lord Avin hanging around did he."
"Haven't you heard forordainination."
"I was forordained to be a prince so that must me my mother was destined to be my mother. Lord Avin or no Lord Avin my wife because I'm a prince is meant to be,"
"Forordained? How do you know it's her?"
"My heart says so."
To his embarrassment his friend burst out laughing. "Well just make sure to inform Lord Avin and Lady Yanet they don't seem to have heard about it yet." He walked away laughing heartily.
