Sorry no prizes.
Sienna part 3 this is REALLY rough and honestly I hate this part. just... bear with me.
It took me a month before I was able to use my arm again and even then it was still tender and weak. I was back on my feet after a week in bed and although no one would admit it, they were all worried about me. They were all careful to give me the easiest chores.
According to Hilari (she was the only one who would be completely honest with me at the time) the villagers had gone in after me in a rush and had brought me back in my beaten condition. Beaten, broken and bleeding but alive. Hilari said she had almost fainted when she’d seen me, I’d looked dead, limp in one of the older men’s arms. They’d wrapped me up in one of their big coats, but it hadn’t covered all of me. Hilari had leaned in close at this point, just dying to give me all the juicy details. I couldn’t really blame her. Our lives were steady and hard. There was always the constant threat of a slow death, sickness or starvation looming in the back of our minds. There was always more to do, more to prepare and finish before winter. Something like this was proof of the monsters in the forests and the most exciting thing either of us had ever experienced but... I can’t honestly say that I was happy that she was enjoying it.
What angered me more was that no one would tell me how I’d survived and what had happened. Not that I was ungrateful or anything but, how was it that I had lived? I was sure that I was dead. I had been incapacitated and helpless, the monster should have taken the advantage and killed me. When I thought back, running through my mind the events of that night I couldn’t remember how it had ended. It was blank, completely blank.
When I asked Hilari if the men had killed the monster she had shaken her head gravely and said, “There’s no way. Everyone came back in one piece, I mean I would think after all we’ve heard about the monsters that someone wouldn’t come back. You seriously don’t remember anything?”
I shook my head.
She pouted and sighed.
I stopped pumping Hilari for information after that.
I started to catch my mother spacing out, forehead furrowed and lips tight. She was worried and she wasn’t the only one, but instead of pretending like nothing was wrong, the entire village was holding me at arms length. I started brooding. I was under a lot of stress trying to figure out why they seemed frightened of me, and I’m actually impressed that I held up that well. I thought that I was coping with the entire situation pretty well, but now that I look back, I have to admit that I didn’t have a handle on any part of my life. I felt lost. Before I’d always had a distant idea of what my life held for me. In my mind there was images of a quiet, domestic living, marriage and a family. It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be a full and satisfying life. Now there was nothing. It was like I’d been cut off.
The first indication of how alone I was becoming in the village occurred in the blacksmith’s smithy. Our village blacksmith, Kael, was big, bulky, loud and liked to be rough and tough. Kael may have looked and acted like the big, tough guy but I knew him to be gruffly caring. I don’t remember my father and my mother never mentions him, and Kael had always been the closest thing to a father that I’d ever had.
I’d gone down to the bellows just to get away from my mother for a while, just to get away from everyone for a while. The clang of the hammer and the heat and glow of the fire are soothing. Normally I would’ve gone to the forest but I was in no condition to even consider it.
Kael never looked up at me.
Usually he would just have grunted or yelled something curdling at me. When he pretended I didn’t exist, my heart felt like it had frozen and sunk to my stomach. But having nowhere else to go I sat in the bellows and let the heat of the furnace dry my silent tears.
“How’s your arm?” my mom asked.
I tried not to sigh or roll my eyes. “Fine.”
“Can you move it?” I moved my arm up and down side to side and clenched and unclenched my fingers. My mother nodded in satisfaction. “I’m going to take the splint off and we’ll see how far you can move. Gently.” she added the final word as a warning.
I nodded woodenly and waited as she unwrapped the splint. It was strange not having the weight of the braces against my arm and it felt light and free. Cautiously I bent my elbow, moving very slowly and waiting for the pang of pain. It was stiff and groaned grumpily but whole.
My mother let out a small sigh of relief and moved to put away the splint.
“Mom?”
“MmHmmm?”
“What happened to me?” I glanced up to see her reaction.
She didn’t miss a beat, “You went into the forest and were attacked by a monster. We came in and found you and brought you back. No more no less.” She began to wrap more bandages on my arm, just to protect the tenderness and slow the movement.
Funny how she knew exactly what I had on my mind. It occurred to me that it was probably the only thing on her mind as well. But that didn’t change the fact that her previous statement was a lie. Why did she lie to me? It was a calculated response. Her voice was kept carefully level and she kept her eyes on her work. It was a lie. I clenched my teeth together to keep myself from lashing out in anger.
It didn’t help much, all the anger and pain that I had kept bottled up boiled deep in my belly, threatening to overflow at any moment. I knew if I let it out I would be shouting and for a moment I wanted to let it go. To let it all out. But this was my mother and although I was angry, I couldn’t shout at her. She deserved respect and civility.
So I swallowed, pressing the anger down and tried again. “Mom, why am I alive? If the monster had attacked me, why am I alive?”
Slowly, she finished wrapping and looked up at me. All in a rush my anger dissipated within me. Her misty grey eyes were old and exhausted. I’d never seen my mother so exposed and vulnerable. She’d always been the rock in my life, my life line. “Because you are your father’s daughter.”
My father?
“Mom,” my voice was soft, shaky, “tell me the truth. All of it. I need to know.” I was blinking back tears now. Ughh, I wiped my eyes furiously. Why do my feelings have a direct line to me tear ducts? I hated that I was showing this weakness. My mother never cried.
My mom was silent but I could see that she wouldn’t lie. With a sigh she sat on the cot with me and turned to stare in the fire she said in less than a whisper, “You lived because you killed the monster. By the time we’d reached you, you had already killed him.”
No. Automatic denial.
What?
No... that made no sense.
“No.” I said out loud, “No, I was half his size and had one arm broken. I couldn’t--”
“You did.”
“No!” I stood, my voice cracking, more desperate than insistent.
My mother stood calmly and faced me. She took a deep breath and as if in great effort she stated. “You are half monster.”
It took me a sec to register what she said. Then I just wanted to hit something. I clenched my fists, almost wishing that my nails would draw my clear, human blood. The anger slowly faded. I sat, crying. Completely defeated.
No. She was lying again. No. No...
I looked down at my hands, trying to imagine the long and clawed fingers of the creature I had faced. I shuddered. It wasn’t possible, I was nothing like them.
“You’re lying.” I said firmly. “You. Are. Lying.”
My mother looked me straight on, kneeling to be on my level. Her patience was thinning and she said very firmly, “Sienna, I am your mother. If anyone would know, wouldn’t it be me?”
I opened my mouth and then shut it with a snap, not knowing how to counter. Deep down, I knew she was telling the truth. “How? How is this possible? How can I be a monster.” Tears were now flowing freely, I didn’t bother to wipe them away. “Who was my father?”
My mother’s face softened and eyes glazed over, remembering, “He was charming... and I was young, foolish and a--.” She stopped herself, I could see the muscles in her jaw work as she clenched and unclenched it. She looked down. “There’s nothing else to say.” Her eyes met mine, moist. Her voice broke softly, “I love you, Sienna... and I’m so... so sorry. In so many ways this is my fault and I can do nothing to fix it.” She pulled me close and hugged me. “But whatever happens, you are my daughter and I love you.”
The Answer to the Play is Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare!
